just another update..

I feel blessed.

That may be a correct description for my feeling now.

I have been very busy lately,

busy with my school,

my extra-curricular activity,

and my new to-do stuff (i.e. to look for jobs).

I am (finally) in the final year,

and that means I have to start looking for job and focus on my final year project.

I think time has passed too fast, I don’t really think that I have enjoyed my undergraduate life to the fullest.

Now, I only have 1 year, and I think I have to make use of this remaining 1 year to enjoy my undergraduate status.

About my internship, I have finished it last month and it’s been a great experience for me.

I did learn a lot from my internship, especially about the life of a working individual.

Many things have happened recently, but I don’t think I can recall each and every one of them now.

Probably I should write more frequently, so my blog can be more up-to-date.

Lastly, I think I am VERY BUSY now.

I really need a break.

Hopefully, I won’t do something extreme like skipping my classes and running from the reality by escaping to a place without any notices.

And what I can do now is only

wishing all of us the best for everything.

20

Irreversible.

Pursuit of lots of things.

Various interpretations.

In the search of something precious.

Reversible.

Evaluations.

Reflections.

Learning from experiences.

Constant.

Family.

Friendship.

Love to God.

…

Expect or not to expect

Lets talk about expectations.

Humans definitely have certain expectations for themselves and for others.

Some people will say that when you find yourself as more imperfect than others, you will place a high expectation on yourself.

Those people who think that they are not as perfect as others will admire those whom they think as ‘perfect persons’.

The reason is quite simple; once you are a little more perfect than others, (by default), you should not have too much expectations on yourselves anymore.

I have to say that this perspective is incorrect, because we must not forget there is also another perspective of expectation.

We also have the expectations put by others on ourselves.

For instance, our parents will expect us to be (let’s say) more hardworking; our friends will expect us to provide more time to go out together, etc.

It’s time to learn that EXPECTATION IS ENDLESS.

No matter how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how rich you are, and how talented you are; people will still expect more from you.

If you are a smart student, people will expect you to be behaviorally-perfect, polite, studious, and the list goes on.

If you are talented, people will expect you to master your talent well, to be able to show off your talents in a flawless manner, etc.

If you are rich, people will expect you to wear expensive clothings, to live like a socialite, to spend your money wisely, etc.

If you are beautiful, people will hope that your manner is also ‘beautiful’, your brain is also ‘beautiful’, etc.

I am not suggesting that it is good to be someone who is not rich, not smart, not beautiful, and not talented.

What I am trying to say here is that do not compare yourself with others.

Comparison to others is the root of all problems.

Having expectations is totally acceptable, but it is important to set a challenging, yet achievable expectation.

If you meet someone who is smart or rich, you may have expectations for them. But if they turn out to be people who cannot fulfill your expectations, just tell yourself, “YOU JUST HAVE NOT KNOWN THEM WELL ENOUGH.”

This sentence tells you that you have not known someone well enough, thus you have set a wrong expectation on him/her.

And if you have too high expectations for yourself, tell yourself, “THESE EXPECTATIONS MAY BE HARD TO ACHIEVE, BUT THIS IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE.”

This sentence encourages you to work harder towards your expectations.

Failure is undeniable, but the most important thing is that you can show others that you can learn from your failure and use that as a lesson to success.

Edward de Bono, a Maltese physician and author, once said: “Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.”

So from now on,

learn to know your talents, your capabilities, and your LIMITS.

Set reasonable expectations for yourselves.

And from now on,

learn to know others’ talents, others’ capabilities, and others’ possible WEAKNESSES.

Set reasonable expectations for them too.

So would you let me be..

This is my first post after a long time of “absence” from this blog.

Basically I am now doing my internship, so I don’t really have enough time to write and post something on this blog.

But anyway,

this post is just to introduce one of the songs from D’Cinnamons; a band from Indonesia.

I have listened to some of their songs in the past, but recently, I found this one particular song that really attracts my attention.

The song talks about someone who has decided to ‘abandon’ his/her friends because of someone he/she loves.

This happens frequently.

If your girlfriend/boyfriend think that you are too close with your friends and it is time to keep a distance with your friends for whatever reasons.

I personally see no point for this thing, except that your friends are those who really give a bad influence for you.

This song shows a sense of regret and disappointment from someone who has abandoned his/her friends for his/her lover.

The song said:

i left them all behind you, only for you
would you believe me
i put my trust on you
but deep inside i realize
that i can’t, no i can’t

Try to listen to this song, I have provided an imeem link for this song. Hope it works.

And of course, give your comments if you wish.

Link: http://www.imeem.com/montague/music/XDLD6mn4/dcinnamons-so-would-u-let-me-be/

Living your own dreams

I think everyone will one to be successful.

Everyone will one to be a perfect person.

And everyone wants to be liked and loved.

Those are all normal expectations of a human.

People get disappointed when they fail in certain situations.

People feel sad when what their dreams are not coming true.

But, people also feel sad (or you can call it, “jealous”) when they see the success of other people.

We can’t blame them, of course.

All of us must feel that way at any one point of our lives.

But anyway,

we have tried our best to equip ourselves,

studied hard so that we can be respected by others,

and dressed up so that others will like the way we present ourselves.

All those efforts are, of course, fine.

But the question will then be

“are we doing all those good efforts because of our dreams or because of other’s expectations?”

Of course, the answer can be both.

There’s nothing wrong about it.

As long as you work hard to be a better person, of course, that is good.

No one will want to care what your real motivation is.

As long as you can achieve a success,

people will appreciate you.

That’s all.

Full stop.

Rule of life.

 

I sometimes feel very confused about this situation.

Suddenly, dreams become useless things.

No matter what your dreams are,

you will eventually adjust them so that they fit into the expectations of others.

Some people just want to be themselves.

However, when they see how other people look like,

they then change themselves,

change the way they dress,

so that they look nice in front of other people.

Again, there’s nothing wrong about it.

But, is that the real you?

Question: do we want to always live under the shadows of others?

 

I know this post is a no-end post,

I haven’t thought of the ending, honestly.

But let’s just keep it like this first.

And we will talk about it later.

 

Please read my previous post that had a similar topic to what I wrote in this post.

Shangri-La

There is a novel in 1933 that described a mysterious beautiful place in the world, called Shangri-La.

The novel is called the Lost Horizon, it described Shangri-La as a heaven in earth.

I would like to share this Chinese song that described a desire to find Shangri-La.

The author tried to show someone who has felt very tired with this life and this person desperately wants to find a peaceful place.

Here is the translation of the lyrics:

I thought by working hard, I will then make my dreams come true.

I thought by writing a nice song, I will then be able to walk with no fear.

I thought by riding motorcycle for travelling, I will then be a hero.

I finally realize, I have lost all those impulsions.

A talented person may spurn a sparkling trophy.

My lovely Cobain, had he ever been vain?

Really hope there’s someone who’ll bring me move forward without doubts.

I finally realize, I am now very spiritless.

Rain will come and stop, that’s an undeniable truth.

North star on the night sky makes lost people feel unfrightened.

I’ll sing and you’ll listen, everything is peaceful and smooth.

With symphony of G major, it smooths our soul frailly.

I just want to hold your hand, walk to a far dream.

To a small wooden hut with red roof, and the address is a secret.

You’ll hold a kitten, and your blue eyes are not sad anymore.

Where’s Shangri-La? It is us who have to find out.

I interpret this lyrics as a very desperate piece.

The author showed someone who once had a dream and expectations towards life.

But suddenly, he/she found out that the reality of life is not as beautiful as what he/she thought.

So, he/she just wanted to find a peaceful heaven, and live there with someone that he/she loves.

Mistake

I don’t know how long since I wrote my last post.

But anyway,

Life’s been up and down recently.

Lots of things happened.

Ehm,

I am not going to talk about what happened to me recently in this post.

I would like to share with you about ‘lost and found’.

Let me share with you this story.

There’s this guy (it is a real story, by the way).

He was such a wonderful guy,

he wrote lots of beautiful lyrics/poems/whatever you wanna call it.

He was diagnosed with a last-stadium cancer.

He had a girlfriend, by the way.

And in his last few months of his life,

he tried to bring happiness to his friends by going out with them, not showing sadness in front of them, and always telling them that “he is OK.”

I don’t know him personally, though.

I knew him through listening to some songs that he wrote.

It’s touching, it’s deep, yet it’s plain.

All of his writings reflect deep feelings that he had,

but everything was portrayed in such a plain and beautiful way.

Let me share with you one of his writings:

Mistake

Kill me

using your sad pupils that filled with tears.

Tears, such glittering and translucent carvings.

One drop, and it will submerge me.

I am trapped in a deep ocean of sin;

my soul, just can’t be released,

imprisoned in a jail of disloyalty.

The curse of betrayal,

and knife-cut of faithlessness

are cutting my regret self.

I was controlled by my own shackles

because of loneliness that is hard to be satisfied.

I then consoled myself in a selfish way

and went to a wrong side willfully as what is done can’t be undone.

You don’t know the pain of love

It’s actually the masterpiece of my evils

that deconstructed the solemn pledge of eternal love

and disregarded our promises.

Forgiveness is now an extravagant demand,

’cause I will just go to my own silence irresponsibly.

Let me pay for this mistake.

Kill me.

it is my mistake.

Above was one of his pieces of writings.

It portrayed a very deep regret of his in regards to a mistake that he had.

It was not the original version,

the original version was in Chinese.

...credit to 楊明學